....Really, Hollywood? 5 Movies That Severely Disappointed Me

We all know Hollywood fails sometimes, and it definitely has in recent years. There are some movies that rock your world, some you forgot you even saw, and then there are those. You know what I'm talking about. The movies that trick you during promotion, whose trailers gave you goosebumps and trick you into buying a ticket. Then you get to the theater with your bowl of expensive popcorn, and you've gone to the bathroom four times before the movie started so there'd be no way you'd have to leave during the movie for anything and miss any moment of this epic thing you're about to see. Sadly, about halfway through, you wish you could go to the bathroom or have any excuse to leave this fail of a picture. The movie itself isn't bad, but all of the hype and high expectations make it all so much worse. Here are the top five movies that had let me down, horribly.

5. Jumper (2008): Ugh, ugh, ugh. Maybe it’s Hayden Christensen’s fault, but no doubt about it, this movie sucked. I don’t know how someone could go wrong with a teleporting movie, but that’s what this one did. Maybe because they put a plot in it.






4. Babylon A.D. (2008): This movie hurt my dad's wallet and my heart. I used to be in love with Vin Diesel, and 2008, his comeback year, got me excited and I couldn't be happier. After watching this movie, I realized I wouldn't be. It sucked. Royally. It also confused me; how did a white virgin give birth to a mixed-race child? Ugh, biology mourns, along with the rest of us.




3. Max Payne (2008): The trailer lied to me. I thought this was going to be a supernatural thriller full of demons, gargoyles, and carnage, but it turned out to be full of drugs and organized crime. The ending was epic in so many ways, but the movie fell flat for me. They offered me monsters and gave me disappointment.



2. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004): It was so disappointing that I don’t remember anything about it except for how bad it was. When Socrates, my main mind-hamster, started working for me, he made sure to delete those files. All I remember is how bad my dad failed for making us watch this movie. Even he’s ashamed, and we’ll never let him live it down.





1. Ponyo (2009): It was a Miyazaki movie. It was supposed to be amazing and heartwarming, but no, it miserably, miserably failed. It was gunned down by the country of epic fail and it spiraled down to the Pacific Fail Ocean. My main points: 5-year olds shouldn’t get married, and “goldfish” shouldn’t have faces.

TV, Music, & Movies

Okay, so Fox's musical show Glee has made a major conquest: me. I'm officially addicted to it, and it's not just because former NLT-member Kevin McHale is on it (as Artie, who is bound to a wheel-chair; poor Kevin). My step-mom and step-sister have tried to get me involved, but it was kind of hard to, mostly because none of the guys were hot at the time. But somehow, I discovered Brittany, possibly (nvm, she is) the dumbest character on the show. She makes my mind-hamsters ache, but she's so great I had to see what other stupid things she says. Of course, during the course of watching this show, I feel in love and began getting emotionally involved. I'm downloading the songs, I'm quoting the characters, and I'm eagerly waiting for the new episodes, especially Born This Way, Lada Gaga's amazing anthem (her best song yet, I believe). Glee's even invading my dreams! So far, I've had dreams starring Puck, Quinn, Kurt, and Blaine. Now I see the big deal. Congratulations, Glee, you won me over. Go celebrate.
Speaking of Lady Gaga, I'm just going to rave about "Born This Way" for a minute. I have immense respect for her, mostly because of her being a major advocate for LGBT rights (I agree with most people; her outfits are ridiculous). I loved her songs, even though her lyricism confuses me; they, surprisingly, make sense once you know what the song's about. Lady Gaga's "Born This Way", however, is not only catchy, it MAKES SENSE. In my opinion, it's become the LGBT anthem, proclaiming that we are born the way we are, created by God, and therefore, are exactly the way he wants us. It's definitely a pick-me-up after all the hating and bashing some extreme people like to do to those that are different. The great thing about this song is that it applies to EVERYONE, not just a certain community, race, etc. We are who we are, we are loved, and we are on the right track.
Now, on to movies. I went to my dad's and a few of us wound up watching Scream. I never had a high opinion of the series after seeing a clip (possibly from Scary Movie) of Ghostface chasing a girl, then giving up the race in favor of running a race and winning. I figured it was going to be dumb, but it was actually pretty good. The protagonist's boyfriend had Fiona-syndrome through most of the movie, but it cleared up near the end. I'm surprised how many high-profile actors sign on for these movies and only have a few minutes of screentime before dying. It's like watching a high school reunion...one where everyone dies. I haven't seen the rest of them, but I kind of want to give Scre4m some of my money now.

Wrestlemania XXVII

I know I'm pretty late about posting this, but the Greatest Show of the Year was on PPV on Sunday and, as a pretty devoted WWE fan, I have to blog about it.
For the most part, I was pretty disappointed. It wasn't the greatest Wrestlemania ever, to be perfectly honest, and I've only seen three. The organization of the matches was horrible and the matches themselves left much to be desired, in performance and length. In fact, all of the matches seemed short and rushed, whereas last year's Wrestlemania's matches were pretty long, the longest match almost lasting an hour; this year's was almost thirty minutes (both matches were the Undertaker's).
The Rock, my first wrestling love, was the host, and at first, he did pretty well. He took up the first 10 minutes of the PPV, which was annoying, and throughout the event, had random backstage segments that took up time that could've gone to the dark match.
Speaking of that dark match, it was Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan for the US Championship. It was advertised to be seen during the live event, but instead was fought before the show started as a dark match due to time constraints. How ridiculous, especially since it was one of only three championships up for grabs during Wrestlemania.
The first match was Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship. Uh, what? Problem number 1: Alberto Del Rio, a newcomer to the company that hasn't even been here a year, was up for a world title AT Wrestlemania, the Greatest Stage of them All. What happened to working your way to the top? Christian, one of the hardest working wrestlers in the company has been denied his push for the past few years, along with Jeff Hardy, John Morrison, and numerous other wrestlers, yet this guy gets to come in, bully around Rey Mysterio, and get a world title shot? Newbies shouldn't get a world title shot or a Wrestlemania match right off the bat, instead taking some time to earn a following, get a few pushes, and work their way to the top. Problem number 2: Why is a world title match the opening bout? It should take place in the last three matches. Whatever, Edge, with the help of Christian, won, ending his Wrestlemania losing streak and retaining their title. How did they celebrate? They busted up Del Rio's car. That's my boys.
The second match was Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio. I liked this match, how it turned out, it's placement, and it's length. Good job, WWE. Cody Rhodes came out looking mysterious, dark, and cool...until you saw that ridiculous face mask. He doesn't even need the thing. He still looked pretty cool. Rey came out as Captain America! Aw! He's so adorable! Cody beat Rey, however, which I don't have too much of a problem with.
Third match: Kane, Big Show, Santino, and Kofi Kingston vs. The Corre. I liked this match; I wish it were a bit longer, but hey, I don't think it was meant to be anything serious. The Corre was demolished, and I'm happy about it. Just because they went to Smackdown and got a new name, it doesn't mean they're any less Nexus than they were before. Now, someone take their titles.
Randy Orton vs. CM Punk was the next match. Of course, my boy Randy won over the Closeted Meth-Head with a RKO from the sky.... kind of. It was kind of like the one with Evan Bourne; Punk just kind of fell into it. I wish it were longer, but, well, you know. The Rock needed his screen time.
Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler, which was a rip-off. It should've been placed earlier than Randy's match, and Michael Cole shouldn't have been declared the winner by disqualification. Stone Cold Steve Austin was the ref, and since he shoved Cole during the match, the RAW gm made Cole the winner. Stone Cold stunned a few people, got on his four-wheeler, and zoomed off with a couple of beers for the road. This match made me crush on the Rattlesnake a bit, as long as he's on the quad. Silver lining: we saw Michael Cole get beat down.
Undertaker vs. Triple H. Okay, this should've been last, and everyone knows it. Triple H's entrance: great. Undertaker's entrance: phenomenal, as always. I was pleased with their performances and, of course, Taker kept the Streak alive, making Hunter tap out in submission. Undertaker was then removed from the ring on the back of one of those trucks with the flat bed that they use at venues. Triple H managed to walk out. It should've been longer, and it should've been at the end of the PPV.
Next was a 6-man-mixed-tag-team match featuring Lay-Cool (which includes the Undertaker's wife, Michelle McCool) and Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and...Snooki. Yes sir, Snooki from the Jersey Shore. I puked in outrage too. John came out in a new get-up, looking fine as can be, Trish Stratus, a Diva legend, came out looking how I want to, and Snooki came out looking like she though they were running for breast cancer. The match was barely five minutes long, the guys (who were the biggest stars in the match-up aside from Trish) weren't even tagged in, and Snooki made the pin on Layla. I'm glad John finally got a Wrestlemania win, I'm just not happy Snooki had to be the one to make it happen. This match should've been a tad longer, the guys should've had some ring time, and it should've been an earlier match.
Our final match: The Miz vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. This match was a bit of a fail. It also ended in a double count-out. Until the Rock came out and restarted the match that is. The Rock, for two glorious minutes, was the hero of Wrestlemania in my living room....until he rock-bottomed John Cena and cost him the championship, letting Miz keep it. I filed for divorce from the Rock a minute later.
All in all, it could've (and should've) been much better. The organization was bad, the lengths were horrible, John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler shouldn't have been in that match, and I honestly don't think there should've been a host. The feuds leading up to these matches seemed rushed and out of nowhere, making this look like any other WWE PPV. Wrestlemania deserved more time and preparation than that. It wasn't bad as a PPV; it was bad as the most watched and respected even in sports entertainment.