Sunday, August 12, 2012

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Disappointment (a little)

Okay, I'm not a hardcore gamer or anything, but I am a massive fan of the Kingdom Hearts series. I don't care for the gameplay or anything, I just love the storyline and half of its characters; I even adopted Roxas in one of my fictional works. So anytime they put out a new KH game, I'm watching the cutscenes on YouTube. Guess what I did this weekend: watched the cutscenes for Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. I'll be honest, some of the things they wound up doing pissed me off a bit, and I'm here to rant about it.
Warning: This is going to be a spoiler-heavy post.

So, in this game, Yen Sid decides to make Sora and Riku take the Keyblade Mastery Exam to become Keyblade Masters (Yes, Riku's hair is shorter). I was thinking 'Sora's already a Keyblade Master; he'll ace this.' Their test was to awaken seven sleeping worlds (don't ask, I didn't care enough about this part) and off they went, separately. During their journeys, they both run into a younger version of Xehanort (the baddie of the series) and either Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, or Xemnas, former leader of the previously destroyed Organization XIII, were in his company. As we go on through the game, we realize that Xehanort and his various forms are still out there and there is a plot afoot, aided by time travel (yes, I said time travel). Well, we get to the end of the exam and the end of the game, and by some stupid crap, Sora wasn't made a Keyblade Master and Riku was. I'd totally let Riku have it, but I went through three games of Sora proving he was boss and the main character, only for him to not get a damn title. Screw you, Yen Sid, screw you. Merlin was better.
Also, there are clips of certain former Organization members waking up. My first thought: 'Yessss! My favorite characters are coming back!'Then, things start to get a little weird. Axel is one of the ones revived, and his tattoos are missing. Later, you find that the former Nobodies are complete again; therefore, Axel is now known as Lea. Another thing about Lea? He can use a keyblade. Yes, you read that right. Don't believe me? Get to YouTube. It turns out, when someone loses their heart and they get a Nobody, that Nobody starts to immediately try to make a new heart as quickly as possible. That means Xemnas lied to every poor soul in that black-cloaked organization, including Demyx! That boy goes through enough! So Zexion, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Xaldin were restored to their original selves, along with Axel, because their hearts and nobodies were both destroyed. I'm slightly confused as well, everyone. I don't care; I just want the Organization of Hilarious Hotties to come back.
Oh, Xehanort's plot? Star a keyblade war. How will he do that? Well, it turns out the Organization was actually made to create thirteen vessels for different pieces of Xehanort's heart to be the thirteen darknesses to fight the seven pure lights a.k.a. the Princesses of Heart. Seven keyblade users will rise up to protect the lights, thus, starting a war. There: the plot for KH3.
I flipped out that Saix was also revived and was alright. Sure, he's one of the thirteen darknesses and the last thing I want is for him to become a Xehanort clone, but the fact that he's alive means he stands a chance to escape!! I love that sexy, sexy man, even though his name is Isa now. I hope he gets out of KH3 alive.
I've pretty much decided that this series constantly plays a game of "Let's see if we can make this Xehanort character even hotter", and they usually succeed. I don't know what to make of Tetsuya Nomura's road with this storyline and its details, but at least he keeps his female audience in mind.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Mahbu vs The Night!!

Everything kind of went to hell for me around midnight.
I was sitting on my front porch with one of the stray cats that adopted my house, Francesco (don't let the name fool you, it's a girl), when Zazu, another cat that loves to lay all over our lawn and I'm pretty sure raped Francesco before, decided to drop by. Francesco hates Zazu like a feminist hates any year before 1920, and proceeded to express her ill-feelings for him by bitch-slapping him in the face when he got too close. Usually she just hisses, but this time she felt the need to get violent, and I can't blame her; for some reason, Zazu wanted to violate her personal bubble no matter what kind of fit she was throwing. He proceeded to stalk her around the porch, and when she finally tried to slink away along the house, he pushed her against the wall and chased her to my backyard. Now out of the demons' presence, I ran inside and jumped into bed, a little scarred from witnessing that.
This, however, was not to be my final trial of the night. I heard a rustling, and, after looking at my roommate on the couch, I could eliminate her, since she was napping. I was the only other alive thing in my room that I was aware of, and I wasn't rustling anything. It could only mean one thing.......bug. Slowly, I turned my head to the Walmart plastic sack by my night box (a nightstand for poor people and people who are too lazy to unpack) and there it was, a cricket. My reaction? Quietly grab one of my work shoes and beat the living crap out of the rude bastard. I don't recall extending a friggin' invitation to the creatures of the outside world. After I went Conan on it, I scooped him up and drowned him in the toilet before sending his carcass to Bane or anyone else living in the sewers as a message: try me, sucka.
Yeah, tonight wasn't exactly my night. *sigh*

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I swear, I'm still America-Proud

I've been watching the XXX Olympics (I'm snickering as I type this; I'm so immature) and while I'm proud to be an American citizen and all, I find myself rooting for other teams. I'm rooting for other teams, because I want to live in their countries. I want to live in their countries because either I'm a total Graecophile(sp?) or...well, there are hot guys from that country. So my top three countries are Greece, Japan, and Denmark. Yeah, Denmark's that random one most people wouldn't expect from me, but Mads Mikkelsen is too gorgeous for words.
I'm too involved whenever it's on. I started screaming at the rowing teams yesterday before I started running errands, which I usually save for NBA games (by NBA, I mean Lakers) and wrestling (by wrestling, I mean WWE). Yep, I've become that sports fan whose life depends too much on the games I watch. I sure do jump levels like a champ when it comes to fandoms.
I'm excited to see men's basketball. Kobe's playing for the US, and my Gazelle (Pau Gasol, for those who don't know my nicknames personally) is playing for Spain, so I'm looking forward to my little NBA reunion on-screen. I'm a little sad that Lamar isn't playing, but mostly because he was signed to the Clippers this season instead of the Lakers, so I won't see him much unless I watch the Kardashians. Ugh.
Was this a pointless post about my occasional viewings of the Olympics? Yes. Am I apologetic? Not really.