Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises

To my complete surprise, I managed to see The Dark Knight Rises on opening weekend. And I got to have popcorn. Score!
Let me say this: I believe anyone who didn't think this film was good was expecting too much from it. I didn't expect it to be as good or better than The Dark Knight, but it was still pretty bad-ass and I loved every minute of it- until the end.

This is probably the first time I've ever been attracted enough to Christian Bale to where I'd lock him up in a closet for a week and not share him with the rest of the world. Man was hot in this one. Bruce Wayne wasn't as Bruce Wayne-y as he usually is, but the man went through a lot in the last movie. I actually like this broken version of Bruce. It was weird watching him get beaten up so much, but at the end, he reminds us all why there's only one true Batman. But enough about my ramblings on how hot this man is.
So let's talk about how hot Bane was. And before you ask, yes, the muzzle enhanced Tom Hardy's sexiness. Yes, I'm aware of how creepy I am; my brother keeps me very informed of this fact. He wasn't as charismatic as Heath Ledger's Joker, but he wasn't supposed to be. Bane's sheer size scared the hell out of me and his nonchalant way or killing whoever stops being useful at the time made me determined to always be useful in his presence. He seemed intelligent, and I definitely don't want to play mind games with that....colossus.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: love you, good sir. He plays a cop-turned-detective named Blake who pretty much takes over Commissioner Gordon's spot as the regular-guy helping-hand of Batman, and was pretty fabulous at it. The entire time I was watching him, I was thinking "Dammit, Nolan, make another Batman movie so he can be Robin! I love him!"  Smart kid, good heart, deserves "sidekick" promotion immediately.
Anne Hathaway got major props from me for her portrayal of Catwoman a.k.a. Selina Kyle. She seemed like a hard girl, and was very badass, yet slinky and sexy at the same time. I loved watching her gradual turn-around in the movie, and how she looked bent over that bike.
With everyone else, it was like a friggin' high school reunion. I kept recognizing people and had no wifi to check imdb to remember who they were. Marion Cotillard was in this, and so was the guy who plays JJ's baby daddy on Criminal Minds. Also, Scarecrow makes a cameo. Yeah, that man can't leave this series alone. Neither can Liam Neeson, though I believe Aslan can come and go whenever he wants. And our other celebrity face for God, Morgan Freeman, is of course back to grace us with his Foxy charms.
Speaking of Lucius Fox, Batman's gadgets and rides are to die for! Of course, we see the Batbike again, but we're also introduced with another new mode of transport. I was there were more Bat toys as well, but I can forgive that.
I was very mad to find out Christopher Nolan doesn't want to do another Batman movie, even though Christian Bale would do it if the director was on board. I'd really, really like to see another one, but this time with more Batman. I'd love to see a Nolan-directed movie with Robin, maybe Batgirl, Mr. Feeeze, Penguin, Poison Ivy, and the Riddler. Yes, I want my corny Batman villains back! I'd just love to see how those characters would come about in Nolan's universe. Plus, I'd like more chicks that aren't trying to sleep with Batman.
This movie was better and sexier than I expected, and with The Avengers and Magic Mike, has officially joined the 2012's Porn for Women list. Everyone should buy a ticket to go see it. Warning though, don't drink anything before the second half of the movie. This bitch is long.

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