Yesterday began my descent into hell. I went in around 8 in the morning to get spacers in my teeth to prepare for braces next week. All day I could barely eat and I sounded like Jack Swagger when I talked, which my brother will happily confirm. My gums hurt, my stomach ached, and I began trying to bargain with our creator. Yesterday, however, was child's play compared to what happened in the last hour.
Today I had to get my baby teeth pulled out, since they weren't leaving on their own. We went in and, to my despair, I heard my crazy-sexy dentist's voice. I had hoped he wouldn't tarnish his angelic image in my mind by putting me through this preliminary pain, but alas, he did. I knew pulling teeth was going to suck from the get go, and what everyone said was right. They stuck that syringe in my mouth and immediately I would've rather been stabbed in the eye. My gums burned and cried out for mercy, but it never came. Then he left me alone for the number to spread and me to bawl my eyes out over what was coming next. When he returned, he proceeded to rip my poor baby teeth from my mouth. It wasn't horrifying, sell-your-soul-to-the-devil pain, but it was very unpleasant.
While the nurse tended to me, my grandma asked my former Angel of Dentistry and now Angel of Painful Death how long I would have to wear braces. I had heard from other that with my problem, it should only be 3-6 months, but he bashed my hopes with a sledgehammer when he said around 2 years. Yep, my life is over. Nothing anyone can say can change that. Well, unless John Morrison showed up and wanted to go out with me regardless of the metal in my mouth.
So now I'm sitting here, typing up this blog before I take some medicine to sleep this day away, to spread this message: DENTISTS WORSHIP SATAN!!! Think about it: they train to go into your mouth and wreak havoc to reduce you to a sobbing mess on the floor. Practically torture.
This is the worst experience of my life. I'd rather spend two years with Katie from Paranormal Activity than two years with braces. And if if anyone tries to tell me "Kayla, braces aren't that bad. People get them all the time" "You'll be thankful you got them done", do me a favor: stfu and fall in a hole, alright? I'm ready to lock myself up in seclusion until this is all over. Either be extremely sympathetic or get the heck out.
3 comments:
Well, I love you no matter what. Other than that, I won't try to tell you that it'll all be ok (it will) or that you'll get used to them (you will) or anything crazy or dad-like like that.
I love you love you love you.
Oh, I also meant to say:
Poor Kayla!
Well, crap! I was gonna say..I had the ugly metal ones for 1 1/2 years when I was in 8th grade into my Freshaman year (even had a BF in 9th grade! He thought I was cute with them! LOL!) and they weren't too bad. But you said not to say that stuff...so, um....I do know it will get better and you will get used to them and the outcome will be soooo much nicer than the beginning! SERIUOSLY...be thankful you have them. I can email you a pic of your uncle's teeth if needbe! He wasn't so lucky to get them when he needed them and says he's too old to get them now.
Key advice: stock up on advil and wax (or whatever they use on them now). HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!!!!
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